OMG you guys, the worst thing happened on my blog the other day.
I posted a blog post (one in three weeks, I win at life, did you read it?), and while I was there I realized that many of the pictures on my blog were missing.
So I panicked. Just a little. The pics were gone from the blog for sure, but I have them on my computer, and they are able to be restored one at a time, wow what a pain, but still – they’re not gone forever.
But where did they go?
Instantly my mind went one place: hackers. Invisible sinister agents of the internet, responsible for sanity-destroying internet shutdowns, stolen identities, lost data, and any manner of cloud-specific warfare, like stealing my photos right from under my fingertips.
Email! Twitter! Facebook! Heaven help me, my accounts are out there unprotected!
I was a victim, y’all. So instantly I began the required procedure of steps that all victims of web-related crimes are advised to do.
I posted a question to the Google gods in the labyrinthine help forums, deleted my browser history, changed my passwords, closed the browser, counted to thirty, opened it up again, and crossed my fingers that all would be right in the world. Those are the steps.
It did not work. My pictures were still gone.
I posed the question to a group of bloggers, and my Superfriend Laura of Mommy Miracles responded right away. She is a cyber hero, able to pinpoint solutions to web crises in an instant. After she posed a few queries about my blog, which I had to decipher were really in English, she finally asked, “Would you have deleted your photos from Google?”
I did no such thing, my proud mind retorted. Who would be so stupid? I AM A VICTIM OF INTERNET CRIME AND I NEED A LAWYER. Preferably one who looks like Harvey from Suits. Meow.
But wait. I remembered spending several hours the week before making room on my phone, deleting all but the most flattering pictures of my loved ones, especially me. WHY ARE THEY ON HERE TWICE? I raged. Delete here too, under this rainbow icon thingy.
“I think I did,” I tapped meekly in response to her question.
A response back from the Google help dungeons confirmed Wizard Laura’s analysis, that I had deleted my own photos from the blog through a back door that I didn’t even know existed.
Ahem. I took my photos back from the host who graciously manages my blog, and trashed them. It was as if I made some cookies, brought half to a party, allowed everyone to look at them, threw them away at the party, and then went home and ate the other half myself.
Yeah. Just like that.
What a knucklehead. In my own defense, I’m no tech whiz. Nor should I allowed to touch anything electronic, really. Really, I should do blog posts via dictation. Would anyone like that job? I can’t pay you, but I can be fun to be around. When I’m not being cranky about being around people, that is.
In the near future, you can find me spending my free time praising Laura’s genius, taking my position in the lower ranks of internet-savvy citizens, and reposting all those missing photos to old blog posts, simultaneously cursing my internet ineptitude and laughing at my prior attempts at wit and whimsy. Old blog posts are hilarious.
Silver linings, people.
*Update: Twenty-four hours after writing this post I discovered that my photos were languishing in Trash, and with the help of my dear husband ("Just click 'restore,' dummy") I was able to get 'em back on here. But oh, so many duplicates. So. Many. Someone help me to find order to this chaos.