Wednesday, October 5, 2011

My Magic Place

What I seek.

As a person with an intense need for peace and solitude for recharging purposes, I find it difficult to function pleasantly when things get wild and action-packed and loud and destructive like a Transformers movie.  For me, this chaos may only be a matter of the house being full of kids while my husband works from home.  I can deal magnificently, but if play time bumps up into my planned half-day of focused loafing, I can get a little out of sorts.  And by out of sorts I mean that I start yelling.


What I'm up against.

It was this need for peace that led me to look for a hiding place in our home when I needed time for silence.  It soon dawned on me that there aren’t any comfy rooms in our house that are suitable for hiding.  All of our most comfortable furniture, which is really only suitable if you are peace-seeking, are found in rooms that are wide open and central to the heart of our house.  Stupid open floor plan. 

Imagine my surprise (and initial dismay) when, on my quest, I found a place within our house which has a special kind of magic that finds people when I enter it, usually within one minute.  I have researched this phenomenon thoroughly, and there is a 100% success rate.  No kidding; each and every time I enter this one room and close the door, people just appear.  I call this magic place the Bathroom.
Looks peaceful, right?  Don't be fooled.

In addition, there is a specialty feature that I use only in emergencies, and only if I need to find the males in my house quickly.  It could be a super power.  All I have to do is take my clothes off.  I try as hard as I can to stay perfectly silent as I perform this mundane task, and within seconds – SECONDS, I tell you – my son or my husband appear.  It really is quite stupefying.  I still haven’t pinpointed exactly what the special element is - is it the room I'm in, or the action I'm carrying out?  Regardless, my initial research supports a very strong success rate.

So I guess the universe is working against me here.  Maybe I’m not meant to have peace and silence and calm.  Maybe I can accept that when my family is around, there will really be no peace.  They don’t have need for it, so I won’t enforce my needs on them.  They know I like it, but they don’t really get why.  Plus maybe I’m just a tad bit kooky for needing it in the first place.  Anyway, even if I found a hidey-hole, no walls are thick enough to drown out the sounds of children playing “chin people” and husbands who like the radio turned up real loud any time Taylor Swift is on.

In the meantime, I am considering loaning my Bathroom to the FBI to aid them in missing persons cases, in order to make a little cash.  And to find missing persons.  OF COURSE to find missing persons. 

photo credit
photo credit

4 comments:

  1. I hear ya on this one. If I have the temerity to lock the door, wailing, kicking and door pounding starts about 7 seconds later. If I don't, N. thinks it's perfectly reasonable to come in and hold my hand or brush my hair while I'm attending to business.

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  2. "Let me hold your hand while you pee, Mommy" = funny

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  3. Girl - I know what you're talking about. Getting in my car and going on an impromptu "grocery store trip" sometimes works well for me! :)

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