Please don't tell my kids.
I guess the reason why I am not a very good gift giver is because I am also not a very good shopper. It takes me forever to find what I want, and I get overwhelmed looking for items that seem to hide in plain view. I forget what I am looking for, and remember it only when I get home. Lists don’t help. The sheer number of objects out there makes my head spin.
|Sometimes it's more than the thought that counts.|
So I've heard.
|So sweet, I have a cavity.|
First, get yourself an old-timey cookbook. Any one will do. My favorite is a Better Homes and Garden cookbook I inherited from my great-great-aunt, published circa 1958. It is in mint condition, either because she never cooked, or because she had two and kept this one as a collectible. These days, it serves this latter purpose. If you don’t have an old-timey cookbook, cruise the internet for some old recipes, preferably ones that contain words like “aspic” or “picnic loaf.”
|My favorite instruction in this "Variety Meats" section is to cook ingredients like brains and sweetbreads the day that you purchase them. You know, because after a day they are not fit for consumption.|
|Add the Gin Blossoms to the long list of the unfortunate. Who have witnessed my awkwardness.|
|Maybe I'd be more productive if I didn't |
waste so much time taking self-portraits.
|Oh, boy. Here we go.|
|Give me a nerd with a good head of hair |
in a skin tight spidey suit and I'm good.
|Looks pretty peaceful so far, right? |
It's because it's happening outside of my house.