Thursday, December 6, 2012

Sweetie Sweet


My girlfriends and I play this game once in a while where we rate people as sweet or not sweet.  It’s kind of like a grown-up Mean Girls version of who’s cool and not cool, except we just talk about ourselves, and we call each other out in terms of sweetness.

Because even though we have the sense of humor of a pack of twelve-year-old boys, we’re past all that actual Mean Girls nonsense.  AND YOU SHOULD BE, TOO.

Sweetness is hard to come by these days, because the world is mean and many of us are jaded in response to it.  Sure, you could throw a rock in a crowd and bloody the face of a person who does nice things, but natural sweetness is difficult to find in people, mostly because we are too busy trying to put our best foot forward, Facebook perfection and Life Is Good-isms shining back at the hundreds of individuals we deem our “friends.”
So sweet, I have a cavity.

We show what we want to show, and not the real part that has an ugly face in the morning until she’s had her first cup of coffee.

So am I naturally sweet?  No.  I’m not.  (Exhibit A:  The line above where I admonish you to stop being a Mean Girl.  A sweet person might not even go there.  I have to.  Stop being mean already.)

Not all of my friends are sweet, either.  Birds of a feather and all that.  But there are a couple of sweeties in my circle, those who others may scorn and snort at, but who I want to be around and who I wish would rub off on me more.  I almost don’t even care if it’s faked some of the time.

A sweet person sees the bright side of things, is a genuine encouragement, is easy to laugh with and listen to, and makes me feel as if I can say anything and she won’t automatically think what a terrible person I am, even if she doesn’t know me that well.  Someone who listens openly and smiles the whole time, who has hope in her voice and in her perspective.

To me, the unanimously unsweetened, sweetness is a refreshing burst of cool air in the face of smothering worry, inward judgment, and negative contemplation.  Sweetness is living life facing forward.  Sweetness is acknowledging imperfection and terribleness, but not dwelling on these things. 

Sweetness is not telling cruel jokes.  Not using foul language.  Not always losing your cool.  Not picking fights.  Not starting arguments.  Sweetness is living intentionally, choosing to help instead of hinder, acting instead of ignoring.

My sweet friends are flawed, for sure.  They have troubles that I don’t experience.  They dwell on things that don’t bother me.  They care where I don’t.

But still, they are sweet.  And for a sugar-addict like me, they are necessary. 

Are you sweet?  Do you value sweetness in a person?  Do you think sweetness can be genuine? 

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