Friday, April 26, 2013

Last April on About 100% - An Exercise in Narcissism

Reflecting on past blog posts is like gazing in the mirror.

Sometimes it’s painful, but you just can’t look away.

This time last year on the blog I was all over the place.  The month of April was a cornucopia of topics; looking back, the ideas were varied and I have to admit, vaguely interesting.  One of these posts made it into my top five most read posts, which means that it probably included the words “Penis” or “Porn,” because as everybody knows most people visit the internet for one or both of those topics.  Last April was obviously a rich time for me writing-wise despite last April being really busy in this house what with all the painting and redecorating we did that is still not finished.

In contrast, this April finds me idling in front of my computer daily, yet I can’t seem to produce much of anything except a few lame posts.

I call it “having writer’s block.”  The rest of the world calls it “being lazy.”

Last April there were two posts about candy.  OF COURSE, because April is Easter, and Easter is candy.  If you’re new here, let me bring you up to speed by stating that candy is everything.  Of course, now that I’ve spent most of my life eating it, my body has decided that it actually hates candy, so I have had to let up on the candy consumption.  A LOT.  I wrote one post about bringing my own candy into movie theaters even though I regard that behavior as an egregious sin, and one about eating all my children’s chocolate Easter bunny pops.  Some things never change.

I wrote a post about feeling Mean, which was probably PMS-fueled, and thus should be struck because I hate that hormones make me do terrible things, except I posted my favorite picture of an elderly lady smiling and wearing a T-shirt that says “I HATE EVERYONE.”  Which always makes me feel anything but Mean.

April included a post on reasons why people have children, the #2 most viewed post on the blog (#1 by a mile is Sock Bun Fun, which was one of my first ever posts, and incidentally the #1 article brought up if you Google "Sock Bun Fail."  Yep.  You read that right.  I'm famous!  Try it.  Man, I wish I was famous for something else.)  My number one reason for having children was so parents would have other people to do chores for them, people who don’t need to be paid.  You might think this is child abuse or goes against child labor laws in our country, but I disagree.  Children are made to work.  Who else has hands small enough to fit into a toilet hole?  Those things don’t clean themselves.

I wrote about the frustration with having bangs.  Actually, this was an exercise in MS Paint that I feel came out pretty good.  Sure, it took me three times as long to write this post as any other, but I was pretty pleased with it.  Unlike my feelings about having bangs, which is why I no longer have any.

Two posts on TV shows; one about Mad Men. It’s my favorite show.  It was last April as well, as I confessed to watching nothing but Mad Men for weeks until there were no more episodes to watch.  That was a sad day indeed.  The other was about how My Little Pony Friendship is Magic will be the end of me.  This is a cartoon show which our daughter watched on a loop before school and after school endlessly for days.  I’m not sure where she gets her obsessive-compulsive TV-viewing habits.

I talked more about parenting.  One was a post on how my children drive me crazy when they go to bed, as it morphs into a last-ditch effort to get the last word, the last shred of attention, the last time-wasting activity in before lights out.  I believe I used the term “wily, beastly beasties” to describe my kids.  This year they go to bed a half-hour later than last year, and those mind games have all but stopped.  I kind of miss those days in the way I miss high school.  That is, I may reminisce, but there’s no way on earth I’d ever want to go back there again.  The other post on parenting was about teaching children terrible habits like arm-farting and other inappropriate things.  Let’s move along.

By far my favorite post last April was where I reveal a health diagnosis that has since guided the course of my life, which is that I have an anatomically short leg, or ASL for short.  OK, it didn’t really alter the course of my life, but it did cause me to rethink my shoe wardrobe, which now has to include a heel lift, just like Tom Cruise.

Ahh, last April on the blog.  It was marked by hilarity as well as meaningful pieces surely to be remembered for years to come.

Thank goodness, because this April, I am clearly NOT pulling my weight.  On my own blog.  Pathetic all around.


This post inspired by:

Mama Kat's Writing Workshop

Prompt #4: Look into your archives. What were you blogging about a year ago around this time? Are you still dealing with the same thing? Your thoughts?


  1. I fully intend to read every one of those posts...riiiiight after I get done sitting here thinking about all the other stuff I should be doing.

    1. Ahhhhh, intention. It adds a level of optimism to procrastination.

  2. I love it when I look back at some of my old blog posts and am impressed that I was the one who wrote it. Every once in a while I crack myself up with something unexpected. Wow, I just admitted to having a really bad memory, but I think I've already outed myself on my blog, so that's okay.

    I'm glad you were able to take pride in looking back at your blog. You are not the same person who wrote those posts, and you shouldn't measure yourself against her. Something will happen that will revive your blogging spirit. Until then, keep holding on.

    1. Thank you for the encouragement! It means a great deal to me.

      I guess I'm not the same person I once was. Wait, does that mean that I am also no longer 25? Because that's about how old I feel sometimes.

  3. I like the word egregious. But I don't like Mad Men. Can you believe it? It's so soul-suckingly sad. I'm hooked on Bones, The Closer, Game of Thrones, The Office (in the past - Lie to Me, Grey's Desperate, Ugly Betty, 24) - so I clearly have nothing against series. In fact, I LOVE series. But I can't get into Mad Men, and I sat through all three seasons I bought and it didn't make me love it more.

    I do love your blog though.

    1. Mad Men is pretty depressing, which is why a whole lot of people don't like it. I like it because it's depressing; we've seen the sixties painted as this free-for-all love fest, which is clearly not the case in this show. It's almost refreshing to me. Plus the sets/costumes/direction are eye candy.

      I watch so little TV series so when I find something I like I tend to stick with it. Mad Men 4-Ever.

  4. Yes indeed it is a interesting experience to look back and see older posts I your blog, and realize how much you have changed, and how different you see those things you used to post about now. It is also a great way to see how your writing has improved.