Criminal

The first notes of the song rang in my ears, and I turned the volume up.  The windows were down in the car because I still haven’t gotten the AC fixed, and it’s July already.

I knew the words even before she started singing.  The memories surfaced, and even though they aren’t very cheerful, I left the radio where it was.  It’s still a good song, a leftover from my angry twenties.

Those were the days when I sought out music from angsty females who were hurt and who wanted to tell everyone about it, no matter how shocking and ugly.  The pain and I sang along with these women under cover of whatever apartment I lived in at the time, and whatever car was my companion.  That was usually as close as I got to expressing it.

Today I sang along because it’s in my range, and because I know all the words.

I’ve been a bad, bad girl
I've been careless with a delicate man

Next to me, my ten-year-old, full of swagger and sass, interrupted my concentration on the words and the 90’s: “Oh no, she DI’ ‘INT!!”

I laughed.  Oh, yes, she did.

An old song can bring you right back to the memory of a time, usually a memory of who you were at a time.

I am thankful that my girl was there to remind me that I’m not in my angry twenties anymore.

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Note: Wondering about the song? Criminal by Fiona Apple.  She's still angry, I think.