It’s Independence Day, and you know what that means.
It’s the day when our countrymen said “We’ve HAD it!” to overseas control, and finally got a handle on themselves, granting us life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. On this national holiday, we celebrate our freedoms, which include the right to shoot fireworks into the sky, consume disgusting amounts of hot dogs, watch endless parades under the guise of scoring stale tootsie rolls and broken lollipops, and dance like we are teenagers once more, embarrassing everyone present, especially our own children.
Or maybe that last one’s just my husband and me.
Freedom always has a price, people. Deal with it.