After a loss, everything changes.
The air is different.
No longer are familiar surroundings the same. That tree is now growing in a world that
contains a vacant spot that wasn’t there just days before.
Tears stream down faces that are typically smiling, happy to
see you again.
Relationships change.
Cousins who see only each other once a year now hug with a ferocity and
strength that you’ve never felt before.
Voices that you have never heard say the words “I love you” speak these
words to you over and over and over again.
You hang onto these affirmations as if they had healing powers.
Old photos take on a different light. You love them now for different reasons; the
people in them are no longer within arms’ reach, and the photos are the closest
thing to them besides your own memories.
You come home to a house that you have filled with love and
warmth, and it seems cold in places that weren’t before. It feels off.
Soon, the warmth and comfort will be back. The memories will help, and so will the
mundane. When this load of wash is
finished, when those pictures go back into the album, when the last excuse for
absence is turned into the teacher – the everyday will smooth the rough,
eventually.
Life will go back to normal.
Or a semblance of what that was.
Eventually. Thinking of you, Andrea. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Greta. xo
Delete<3 So very sorry for your loss, my friend.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Laura. xo
DeleteSo sorry for your loss, Andrea. This line really got to me: "You come home to a house that you have filled with love and warmth, and it seems cold in places that weren’t before. It feels off." It's a perfect description.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Leigh Ann. I really noticed it at my grandparents' house. Granddad always kept it so warm, and it wasn't after he was gone. Our house seemed chilly, too.
DeleteHi, may your peace be restored soon - not in quickly forgetting your grandfather, but in finding joy in the memories.
ReplyDelete(As you know, I am going through this too). Hugs.
Of course! Much love to you and your family too, friend. xoxo
DeleteWishing you joy in your memories and peace in your loss. :(
ReplyDeleteThank you so much. The joy is there. The peace will come. xo
DeleteOh you bring me back to a place I don't miss and that I'll inevitably find myself in again one of these days. Continue surround yourself with beautiful people.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Kat. You're so right - It is a hard place to be, but one that requires great care. xo
DeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your world slowly starts shifting back to normal, and that the memories of your loved one remain top of mind.
ReplyDeleteOn the way home from the last funeral attended, I couldn't understand how the kids could be running and laughing in the school yard. Didn't they know the world would never be the same?
True. While it can be comforting to see the world continue to turn as it should, it can seem outrageous that the blades of grass aren't also mourning.
DeleteTime always helps. Thank you, Tammy. xo
So sorry to know this. Love and prayers to all of you. I don't know that I will ever get over my Grandparents' passing...but life does move forward in different ways.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lisa. I do appreciate it. It's sad to think that things will forever be changed - the path has shifted. But like every other change, we will adapt. xo
DeleteOh I want to write heartwarming things now and tell you it will be ok again, because it will but your words landed in my soft spot and I'm crying for your loss. I'm so sorry, Andrea. Think of the ache as years of your love trying to find its way out of your heart. Many hugs to you, my friend.
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful thought - thank you so much, Erin. I know you have a deep hurt that comes from this kind of loss, too. I'm glad that we know each other here. xo
DeleteThis is so beautiful. I too know the power of the memories and the mundane. Love and Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Anna. I know how much you know this power, and it brings me comfort. I thought of you this weekend while we went through the emotions of saying goodbye. xoxo
DeleteSo very sorry for your loss Andrea. Praying for comfort and peace for you all.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Jessi. xoxo
DeleteI'm so sorry for your loss. You're so right about how the world changes after a loss, and sometimes the new normal is difficult to bear.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, MJ. A new normal is overwhelming to think about, and I'm looking forward to it to become familiar. xo
DeleteI am so sorry for your loss, Andrea. Thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Kim. I appreciate it. :)
DeleteI am so very, very sorry for your loss, hon. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Alison. :)
DeleteIt definitely feels "off". Thinking of you... xo
ReplyDeleteThanks, Elaine. xo
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