Wednesday, November 6, 2013

After

After a loss, everything changes.

The air is different.   No longer are familiar surroundings the same.  That tree is now growing in a world that contains a vacant spot that wasn’t there just days before.



Tears stream down faces that are typically smiling, happy to see you again.

Relationships change.  Cousins who see only each other once a year now hug with a ferocity and strength that you’ve never felt before.  Voices that you have never heard say the words “I love you” speak these words to you over and over and over again.  You hang onto these affirmations as if they had healing powers.

Old photos take on a different light.  You love them now for different reasons; the people in them are no longer within arms’ reach, and the photos are the closest thing to them besides your own memories.



You come home to a house that you have filled with love and warmth, and it seems cold in places that weren’t before.  It feels off.

Soon, the warmth and comfort will be back.  The memories will help, and so will the mundane.  When this load of wash is finished, when those pictures go back into the album, when the last excuse for absence is turned into the teacher – the everyday will smooth the rough, eventually.

Life will go back to normal. 

Or a semblance of what that was.


30 comments:

  1. Eventually. Thinking of you, Andrea. xoxo

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  2. <3 So very sorry for your loss, my friend.

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  3. So sorry for your loss, Andrea. This line really got to me: "You come home to a house that you have filled with love and warmth, and it seems cold in places that weren’t before. It feels off." It's a perfect description.

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    1. Thank you, Leigh Ann. I really noticed it at my grandparents' house. Granddad always kept it so warm, and it wasn't after he was gone. Our house seemed chilly, too.

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  4. Hi, may your peace be restored soon - not in quickly forgetting your grandfather, but in finding joy in the memories.

    (As you know, I am going through this too). Hugs.

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    1. Of course! Much love to you and your family too, friend. xoxo

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  5. Wishing you joy in your memories and peace in your loss. :(

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    1. Thank you so much. The joy is there. The peace will come. xo

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  6. Oh you bring me back to a place I don't miss and that I'll inevitably find myself in again one of these days. Continue surround yourself with beautiful people.

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    1. Thank you so much, Kat. You're so right - It is a hard place to be, but one that requires great care. xo

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  7. I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope your world slowly starts shifting back to normal, and that the memories of your loved one remain top of mind.

    On the way home from the last funeral attended, I couldn't understand how the kids could be running and laughing in the school yard. Didn't they know the world would never be the same?

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    1. True. While it can be comforting to see the world continue to turn as it should, it can seem outrageous that the blades of grass aren't also mourning.

      Time always helps. Thank you, Tammy. xo

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  8. So sorry to know this. Love and prayers to all of you. I don't know that I will ever get over my Grandparents' passing...but life does move forward in different ways.

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    1. Thank you, Lisa. I do appreciate it. It's sad to think that things will forever be changed - the path has shifted. But like every other change, we will adapt. xo

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  9. Oh I want to write heartwarming things now and tell you it will be ok again, because it will but your words landed in my soft spot and I'm crying for your loss. I'm so sorry, Andrea. Think of the ache as years of your love trying to find its way out of your heart. Many hugs to you, my friend.

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    1. What a beautiful thought - thank you so much, Erin. I know you have a deep hurt that comes from this kind of loss, too. I'm glad that we know each other here. xo

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  10. This is so beautiful. I too know the power of the memories and the mundane. Love and Hugs.

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    1. Thank you so much, Anna. I know how much you know this power, and it brings me comfort. I thought of you this weekend while we went through the emotions of saying goodbye. xoxo

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  11. So very sorry for your loss Andrea. Praying for comfort and peace for you all.

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  12. I'm so sorry for your loss. You're so right about how the world changes after a loss, and sometimes the new normal is difficult to bear.

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    1. Thank you so much, MJ. A new normal is overwhelming to think about, and I'm looking forward to it to become familiar. xo

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  13. I am so sorry for your loss, Andrea. Thinking of you.

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  14. I am so very, very sorry for your loss, hon. xoxo

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  15. It definitely feels "off". Thinking of you... xo

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