Friday, January 10, 2014

Freedom

 This weekend I am going away while my husband stays home.  It’s a cruel twist that reverses our roles completely, as he will be in charge of everything household-related.

I say cruel because he knows not what the day holds within the walls of our house.  Nobody really does.  It's frightening.  Each day I sit atop a menacing undercurrent – today could be the day that the fridge stops working, or the internet goes out, or one of our children has several last-minute activities to do within a four hour period, all of which have to be coordinated with at least six other adults, or a school project needs to be done using cardboard boxes, glitter, and shoelaces.  He doesn't see any of it, as each day he escapes to a haven where the mundane responsibilities of a homeowner don't reach him.

Now it's my turn.

I love my husband.  He is no slouch.  I don’t wish him ill.  But when I am home, I am the default.  Being the default is exhausting.  I am glad that this weekend, I won’t be home to DEAL.

After all, anything can happen.

And I will be blissfully unaware of it.

And a small, mean part of me hopes that he has to deal with a little more than he usually does.

Is it wrong of me to hope that he runs out of toilet paper, only to have to replace the roll himself?

Is it wrong of me to hope that he wants to eat toast, only to find that all of our bread is in the freezer?

Is it wrong of me to hope that the smoke alarm starts chirping at 3 am?

Is it wrong of me to hope that one of the garbage cans will fill, forcing him to replace the bag?

Is it wrong of me to be glad that he has planned activities to do that require him to be on time and that he will have to motivate children to do the same?

Is it wrong of me to hope he runs out of cash so that HE WILL HAVE TO VISIT AN ATM?

I think not.




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18 comments:

  1. In thinking through the list of things that you always have to deal with, I hope you appreciated all you do, even though they then become invisible to the rest of the family.

    Enjoy your weekend away!

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    1. Thanks Tammy! He really does appreciate all I do. He just doesn't realize what those things are. He doesn't have to. And this weekend, I won't have to either! :)

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  2. Christian and I are both very go with the flow, so I didn't stress too much when I went out of town for 5 days once. But everyone we knew was astounded and gave him all kinds of praise and accolades. Of course when HE went out of town, no big deal that I was left alone with the kids.

    Also, when I came back, there was shit everywhere. His idea of cleaning up at the end of the day is getting stuff off the floor. So every horizontal surface was covered in little toys and clutter. I wanted to leave again.

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    1. Of course! I used to leave detailed instructions for my husband when I went away. It stressed me out. Now I point him to the calendar and say - there's what you have to do. He's a big boy. I don't need to tell him every little thing. But he does know that the house should be in the same shape it was when I left. That's just common courtesy.

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  3. It is so true! They just have no clue about the balancing act that goes on while they are at work! I hope you enjoy your weekend away!

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    1. Thank you Sarah! It was nice to be away. The house was in good shape when I got home, so no complaints.

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  4. Sounds dreamy - enjoy your time away! Surely he will encounter at least a hiccup or two, even if he doesn't admit it (that's my husband's tactic). Do things ever go according to plan when kids are involved?! ;)

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    1. You are so right - they would never admit when something goes wrong. Sometimes I notice it myself and he says, "Yeah, I meant to tell you that happened." Grrrr.

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  5. Oh you hit the nail on the head! Being the default is exhausting. It's constant and endless and like wearing a weighted belt or something. I'm so glad you get to go away. xx.

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    1. Thanks Sarah! I knew you'd understand. A weighted belt - exactly.

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  6. I hope you're having fun!
    And I'm the default and will be for a long time. It IS exhausting. Yay for breaks!

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  7. I hope you've had a good weekend away - "away" sounds amazing right now. The last time I left overnight and my hubby became the default, everything went irritatingly smoothly. Sigh...

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    1. It was a good weekend, thanks so much! Things always go smoothly for them, because they don't see the rough parts... I need a pair of those blinders.

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  8. When the dad's away, the smoke alarms will play.
    Or something like that.

    It's the law. Pretty sure.

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    1. It's the law here, definitely. Stupid smoke alarm. You know, when there's no smoke. Otherwise, YEAH! WAY TO SAVE LIVES, SMOKE ALARM!! WHOOOOOO HOOO!!!

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  9. Girl. The trash can thing. OMG, I feel on that one, sister!!

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    1. Why? Why does no one else see that the coffee grounds are spilling on the floor?

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