You
guys. Summer is coming. Summer is coming SUMMER IS COMING.
Meanwhile, during the last weeks of school I was sitting on the patio staring into the sun every day, enjoying the spring warmth and morbidly counting the days down until the peace would end.
These
days, I count down the days until school ends with the kids and the best of the
moms, because OMG THE END OF THE YEAR AND ALL ITS ACTIVITIES PLEASE MAKE IT
STOP. I still haven’t mastered the art of
filling every available summer minute with things to do, and I probably won’t
because it’s not my style.
But
here are ten things I’ve found that help me pass the summer days with ease and
a minimal of planning, and they can work for you, too, if you just let them happen and stop trying to control everything because everybody knows you're an overachiever and that's just annoying.
1.
Wine. You thought I’d put that at the
end, didn’t you? Nope. Wine is essential
for getting through the summer when kids are home. The best part about wine in the summer is
that you can start drinking it in the afternoon, because there are no pesky
practices or after-school activities to haul the kids to. Early drinking is a law in summer.
2.
Water. Some type of water activity is
essential for summer when you have kids at home. If you’re fancy, you can shoo the kids to
the backyard to swim while you drink your wine at the kitchen window – you still
have to supervise, silly! If you’re only
slightly fancy you can buy a membership at a community pool and haul your kids
there, along with the forty pounds of snacks and pool toys they require. Or, if you’re me, you tell the kids to drag
out the hose and let them squirt each other in the face until someone is
crying. And then you can send them to their rooms for not playing nice.
3.
Sunscreen and bug spray. Preferably
together, because there’s nothing better than slathering your kids with
chemicals and then kicking them outside.
But the real reason behind this one is that sunburned and bug-bitten
kids are intolerable, so do yourself a favor and stock up today.
4.
Movies. I know, going to the movies is
expensive. And the summer blockbusters aren’t
everyone’s cup of tea – I’ve had enough of all the superhero movies, myself. But what’s expensive about dragging out your old
DVD collection and forcing the kids to watch The Sound of Music again? Or having a Lion King marathon? Turn the volume up, the lights down, throw them a bag of Twizzlers, and you’re done for the day.
5.
Garage sale. Having a garage sale is a
great way to put in at least a week of summer.
You know you have tons of stuff to get rid of, and it’s going to take
you some time to get it all together, so while the kids are watching classic
Disney movies and eating their weight in waxy movie candy, drag out your junk
and set up your garage like an old-timey thrift store. Drape scarves on the lamps and set up the used Barbie dolls in a beautiful vignette, and rake in the quarters as
neighbors and strangers paw through your old sheets and socks and ask you if
you’ll take a dime. You will.
6.
Lemonade stand. My kids ask me every
single summer if they can set up a lemonade stand, and every summer I say yes,
then never help them set it up. So far,
they’ve never had one. But I think this
year could be the year. What screams
summer more than a few kids sitting out in the hot sun in the middle of the day
on the back streets of a housing development trying to sell a Styrofoam cup of
Minute Maid to the garbage collectors?
7.
Vacation. Summer screams vacations at
the beach, trips to interesting cities, camping in tents and lounging at resort
pools. Vacations and summer go hand in
hand, and we always have something planned each summer, just to get away and
show the kids a little part of the world outside their own. The best summer vacations are done as a
family, especially when you can get some other family to take your kids with
them on their vacation.
8.
Friends. Whether your own friends or your kids’,
having new faces around is always preferable to seeing only the same sour
pusses every day. We make a point to
hang out with friends on a weekly basis in the summer, not only because we enjoy each
other, but also to break up the monotony of hanging out only with each other. There’s nothing quite like the love a family
shares, but things can get a little intense when you’re in each other’s faces
all day, every day. I’ve felt an immediate switch from hating every member of
my family to suddenly being able to tolerate their behavior upon stepping into
a friend’s house. Wine helps, too.
9.
Junk Food. Summer is the time when all
dietary restrictions go out the window.
My kids eat pop-tarts, all sorts of chips, and ice cream by the
truckload before breakfast every day.
Sure, produce is at its freshest, and we try to incorporate as many fruits
and veggies into our meals as we can, but I’d be a liar if I said that my kids eat three
squares a day in the summer. If squares were
comprised of Doritos, candy, popsicles, and kool-aid, then yes. They do.
10.
The Mall. The mall is not
always an ideal place to be for kids, but think about what the mall offers:
Food. Books. Wide open spaces. Cool air.
Let your kids run ahead to get some exercise while you escape the
confines of your filthy home, drop some cash at the food court for a plate of
greasy Chinese noodles, and try on cute tops and shorts while your kids eat the
loose Skittles you’ve found in the
bottom of your purse. Don’t forget a
roll of quarters to feed the vending machines for bouncy balls, stale gumballs,
and little trinkets they will choke on later.
Wow. This list sucks. You
know what? This summer, just try to keep your head low and your eyes to the ground. Soon it will be September, and the summer
will be just a memory of sunscreen in the eyes and bathing suit wedgies. That’s what I’m counting on, anyway.
*******
This
post inspired by:
Prompt
5: A list of 10 things every parent needs to survive summer