Monday, June 16, 2014

Spam Loves My Blog

There are few things in life that hold the alluring combination of being entertaining and annoying at the same time.  Reality shows.  Spongebob Squarepants.  Small children.  My husband.  Okay.  Turns out there are a lot of things that can be entertaining and annoying.

Internet spam is another one.

Spammers love my blog, and leave daily comments.  If you’re not a blogger, then you might not know anything about commenting, so I will educate you right now:  comments are rewards for blogging.  Comments show us that you are reading.  If you read and don’t comment, hey man, that’s cool, but my heart died a little because you read what I had to say and didn’t tell me so.  It’s sort of a major reason to blog for many bloggers.  Positive feedback, people. 

Spammers know this, and they take this knowledge and leave little blurbs of excitement and kudos on my blog every day, listing a website that they invite me to peruse but I’m not curious like that so I never do.  And even though their comments are all garbage and add no real value to my blog, knowing that spammers find me and take the time to autofill my comment box with often nonsensical drivel is mildly gratifying.  I have made it on the internet if the Spambots have come.  And they do.  However, each day I have the thankless job of deleting hundreds of spam comments from this fine blog.

But not before I read some of them.  And today, I’m sharing them with you.  The following is just a sample of the spam comments I receive.  I have not edited content in any way, except to delete the title of the blog post that each commented on, and a link if they’ve added one.  I have grouped them into eight categories: The Health Advisor, The Flatterer, The Student, The Product Advisor, The Drunk, The Fellow Blogger, The Information Gatherer / Sharer, and The Storyteller.

The Health Advisor

Somе pills will make you feel fuller for longer as well. Videos promising wwardrobe malfunctions have drawn in tons off people. " You don't need to be of Italian heritage to love it. Feel free to visit my homepage :: will diet pills affect birth control

Well, that’s true.  I don’t have a speck of Italian blood in me and I love watching videos of people losing their clothes.

If your dog's wart is causing any type of discomfort to him, it can be removed surgically or by freezing it (cryosurgery). You can't just pick up a rusty pair of scissors and lower your offending skin tag off. Therefore, it may be necessary to cover the site with a band aid to protect it. Feel free to visit my blog post ... removing skin tags

Now that’s important information!  Thank goodness I read this before I used rusty scissors to cut off a piece of skin.  Do they even make rusty scissors anymore?

When people get older the ability to get arouses and excited also take longer to happen but people continue to enjoy sexual acitivity in the old age.  NOTE: Please feel free to Tweet this article, like it, or share it with your Facebook friends.  Maybe the lady you and your husband shared that threeway experience with would want to rendezvous with you.  Here is my web-site:: Kissing HD

Come again?

The Flatterer

You should be a part of a contest for one off the finest blogs on the internet. I most certainly will recommendd this web site! Here is my web site: best steroids Rhode Island

THANK YOU, Rhode Island!  I’m so glad my blog is worthy of the smallest state in the union’s praise.  In addition, I’m thrilled to have the steroid-user population backing me. 

Excellent items from you, man. I've take into accout your stuff prior to and you are simply too magnificent. I really like what you've got right here, certainly like what you are saying and the way in which during which you say it. You are making it entertaining and you continue to take care of to keep it wise. I cant wait to read much more from you. This is really a tremendous website. my web page; silver prices 2014

You know, when I started blogging my main thought was to keep it wise.  So happy someone noticed.  Thanks, man.

I've been browsing online more than three hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. It is pretty worth enough for me. Personally, if all site owners and bloggers made good content as you did, the internet will be a lot more useful than ever before. My web-site - web site

Wow.  Three hours of browsing and this is the best you’ve seen?  I have spent many a good day just browsing cat videos.  Maybe you need a class on internet surfing.  Obviously you could also use a primer on naming websites.

The Student

Do you have any video of that? I'd like to find out more details. Also visit my web page – Reginald

Well, Reginald, I haven’t done any videos on my site, but I do like your name.  Perhaps we could be friends.  Do you wear a monocle?

Hmm it seems like your website ate my first comment (it was extremely long) so I guess I'll just sum it up what I submitted and say, I'm thoroughly enjoying your blog. I as well am an aspiring blog writer but I'm still new to the whole thing. Do you have any tips for newbie blog writers? I'd really appreciate it. Have a look at my web site ... fuckbuddy

Whoa there, guy.  Slow your roll.  I have some tips for you, but I’m not sure they’re the kind you’re looking for.

The Product Advisor

Limit Controls come in many different types and have a myriad of applications that require a specific type of Limit Control. Check online for both product and price information before you buy mower tires. Speed is good, however computers designed to function at speeds beyond human comprehension are just speedy computers and still bound by the data programmed into them. Also visit my page ... rear tractor tubes

This page will helpful when I need help with lawn equipment and building a speedy computer with Limit Controls.

The Drunk

What's up, this weekend is nice in support of me, because this occasion i am reading this enormous informative paragraph here at my residence. Here is my web page maillots de la coupe du monde

My head is spinning after reading this, and I’ve only been drinking coffee so far today.

The Fellow Blogger

Wow!  This blog looks just like my old one!  It’s on a entirely different topic but it has pretty much the same layout and design.  Great choice of colors!  My web log yeast no more review

Are you trying to tell me that I’m a thief?  Because I’m not.  And I’m a little offended that you think I need help with my yeast issues.  Two strikes, son.

I’m a devotee of brilliant writing.  I aspire to be a blog writer myself, but it isn’t easy for me, putting my words out there.  I feel exposed.  Do you feel like this?  Or do you think that perhaps you have to appreciate these feelings of exposure in order to be a real writer?  Here is my website – hardcore sex

Um, if your website is about hardcore sex, then I’m sure that writing is not the only area in which you’re feeling exposed.  May need to rethink your platform – just my advice.

Awesome blog! Is your theme custom made or did you download it from somewhere? A design like yours with a few simple adjustements would really make my blog shine. Please let me know where you got your theme. Bless you Also visit my homepage ... how to jump higher

What a sweetie.  Bless you, too.  Note: I *almost* clicked this link.  Who doesn’t want to jump higher?

The Information Gatherer / Sharer

I was recommended this website via my cousin. I am no longer sure whether this post is written through him as no one else recognise such designated approximately my difficulty. You're incredible! Thanks! My homepage Boom Beach Diamonds Hack

I love that your cousin shared this with you and that you appreciate my work, but it sounds as if you’re questioning your cousin’s sources, which is a family problem that I don’t want to get into.

An impressive share! I've just forwarded this onto a friend who was doing a little homework on this. And he actually ordered me dinner because I found it for him... lol. So let me reword this.... Thank YOU for the meal!! But yeah, thanx for spending some time to talk about this matter here on your wweb site. my web-site; recovery muscle supplements

Yeah.  I didn’t buy you a meal.  In fact, I think you should buy me a meal as payment for my impressiveness.

Thankfulness to my father who shared with me concerning this webpage, this webpage is genuinely remarkable. my web blog movies on lesbeans

Thankfulness to your father, too.  And to all the lesbeans.

The Storyteller

Today, I went to the beachfront with my kids. I found a sea shell and gave it to my 4 year old daughter and said "You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear." She put the shell to her ear and screamed. There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear. She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is completely off topic but I had to tell someone! Here is my web site - Lutheran Churches in Papillion

HA!  Kids are so dumb.

 * * * * *

I hope I have shown you that spam can be fun if you take the time to know it better.  And it’s much more fun when you remember to take care of it before there are a thousand of spam comments eating your blog.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a date with the delete button.



  1. I don't get spam in my comments section anymore because I moderate my comments.
    But when I get a free moment of glutton and punishment, I go into my "spam folder" for fun.
    1000000 comments about Viagra and how contact lenses will solve my problems, I feel much better about myself.
    You like me.
    You really, really like me!

    1. I prefer not to moderate because they are so darn fun. Related: I'm pretty sure "viagra pills for FREE" is my new BFF.

  2. Hahaha! I remember the days when I was inundated with hilarious spam comments (yes, I also wrote a blog post about it a couple of years ago).

    1. I enjoy them way too much to take steps to avoid them, I think. We've been having a relationship for a couple of years now. :)

  3. ha! I'm laughing out loud and I needed that.
    The yeast one is just weird.
    Some of them are rather artful..and long. Do computers write those? Or are sinister humans behind them? It's all very suspect.

    1. I prefer to think it's some guy in a Silicon Valley office writing garbage like this for thousands of dollars. In reality it's probably some teenager on the other side of the world typing text into a computer held together by rubber bands and tape for less than pennies. Nope. Let's not go there.

  4. I can't remember the last time I checked my spam comments. Maybe I should. I could use a compliment from the "Flatterer".

    1. I love The Flatterers. They're always very complimentary. And then they hit you with their weird sex website.

  5. I love your blog! It's so enticing. Can you give me some tips on how to write? Please? And I will show you how to shave your legs...

    Oh wait, I'm real. ;-p

    Spam can kiss my ass. Please don't delete this comment.

    1. Ha ha ha! There should be more spam comments like yours. xoxo