Happy 2015, poops!
I meant to say peeps. But my fingers typed poops instead. I'm leaving it there.
Because poops. And yes. I'm still twelve.
*******
After making the decision to stay home together this week, it became readily apparent that we needed something to do to keep from killing each other.
Because
we all are at home. Together, people. And
togetherness begets ennui, bickering, and strife.
Oh,
it’s all fun and games and loving and caring at your house, huh? Isn’t that nice for you. Now go away.
After
cornering my husband and instructing him to put away the mopey face he wears at
home because he’s never home and he doesn’t know what to do when he’s home except mope around, we
discussed the things we will do this week to head off the inevitable storm of
smart talk, bad behavior, crying, and feelings of boredom and hopelessness that
the rest of my family will have to deal with when I lose my mind from having
them all home with me for a week.
Here’s
what we came up with:
1.
Go
to the movies. About ten movies
came out around Christmas, and we are going to see them. Well, maybe not all of them. So far we’ve seen two. We don’t go to the movies often, so we blow
our movie budget for the year even before the new year starts. Who cares?
No one’s yelling or crying while you’re inside the movie theater. Except for the toddler that is in every movie
theater these days WHY DO PEOPLE INSIST ON BRINGING BABIES TO THE MOVIES?
2.
Go
“shopping.” If you are like us,
money is tight at the holidays because you spent it all on presents, food, and booze, and because you are going to the movies every day. So you return duplicate gifts and get store credit or
exchange for the right size or a different item and pretend that you are
shopping for yourself when actually you are just recycling money that has
already been spent. Or you’re my husband
and just go to the mall and drop another hundred bucks on yourself because why
not? You don’t pay the bills.
3.
Exercise. Look.
You just spent the last week eating and drinking your weight or more in
desserts and dips, meats and potatoes, pastas, and eggnog. You have to work it off. Just do it, and try not to cry openly at your
lack of will.
4.
Clean
your filthy house. People have
been in and out of the house for weeks and you’ve neglected even swiping the counter
with a Clorox wipe because you’ve been so busy.
Your house is a pit. Put the holiday
decorations away and start the new year afresh.
Or at least less sticky. Seriously. Would it kill anyone to wipe the counter?
5.
Have
your kids’ friends over. The tween
in our house sees a week of nothing to do and screams “SLEEPOVER!” Do it.
Order pizza or feed Sarah Elizabeth your Christmas dinner leftovers. Then do the same tomorrow when Logan and
Jimmy come over. Double bonus on this
one: the kids are occupied and mom and dad can curl up on the couch and binge
watch all the shows they missed last year.
6.
Have
your own friends over. Inviting
friends over the break is a great way to a) get rid of even more food, b) see
what they got for Christmas so you can borrow it later, c) have an excuse to day drink, d) be around
normal people after spending so much time with your family.
7.
Hide. In our house, we each have our favorite
spot. Mine is at my desk where I can look
busy while I peer into the neighbor’s windows.
My husband likes to hole up in his office and stare at the wall while he pretends to work. Our son finds the basement to his liking,
where he can get sucked into playing video games. Our daughter lies on the floor of her room,
making crafts and watching pranking videos on YouTube.
All of these activities are surefire ways to sail through the holidays with
a minimum of turmoil, and before you know it, the break will be over and
everyone will be off to their rightful places in the universe. With any luck you’ll all start the new year unscathed, just
like I am hoping for our family. Now
if you’ll excuse me, I think the neighbors just got home.
*******
This post inspired by:
Mama Kat's Writing Prompts
Prompt #2: 7 best ways to spend winter break.
It's no surprise that my favorite is 'hide'. Heh.
ReplyDeleteEnjoy the time off and have a great new year!
Yes! It is my favorite, too. That and the movies. I can also hide there.
DeleteSo your husband does the moping thing too huh? Not just mine. And they wonder why we are ready to pull our hair out when they get home! Ha, Ha, Ha! Stopping by from Mama Kat's
ReplyDeleteYes. My being proactive and squashing that shizz before it happened really helped, though. Try it next time he's home for more than a day. :)
DeleteHide. What a great idea!
ReplyDeleteIt also helps to have a nice, comfy spot in which to hide. Then you can pretend you're at a spa.
DeleteGood ideas (except the cleaning one, but maybe that's just me). I did manage to get the Christmas decorations away though. We've watched a lot of movies together this break.
ReplyDeleteMovies FTW!
Deletegreat tips! I'm having a sleepover tonight with my grandkids. We are also working on a sewing project. I've had a few days to myself during the break and really enjoyed myself. I don't get those very often. I'm with you, why do people bring babies or toddlers to movies? Especially the late shows. That kid should be home in bed. Hope you school break turns out fun and enjoyable. Thanks for stopping by. Stopping by from mama kats kelley at the road goes ever ever on
ReplyDeleteBringing babies to the movies is definitely a trend. I end up being irritated/sad for the kid who is fussing. Obviously he doesn't want to be there!
DeleteI want to come live at your house!
ReplyDeleteYes, please. xoxo
DeleteI laughed until I cried! Fabulous post and great "tips", too. The hilarity in it all... I totally feel ya on a lot of it. Tough couple of weeks. Visiting here from MakaKat's Losin' It!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much. :) If we didn't laugh, we'd cry, amiright?
DeleteHey poops is my favorite saying of 2015 so far.
ReplyDeleteGranted we are only three days in but I think it will be a contender.
And hiding is working out really well for me this break.
It's like I am in the Witness Protection Program.
Do you wear big floppy hats and large sunglasses, too? That really works for me. They think I'm a stranger.
DeleteI really like the idea of hiding, but I have been unable to do so with my MIL here. But my husband, on the other hand, has frequently shut himself in his room to play video games while I keep her company. >:(
ReplyDeleteHmmm... that just ain't right. Unless your MIL gives hundreds out. Then it's okay if he hides.
DeleteOf all of these, community cleaning is my fave!! (happy new year, my friend!)
ReplyDeleteThanks so much - And HNY to you, too! Cleaning as a family is an all-around great activity. Until the bickering starts and mom loses it. It only takes an hour to clean this house together. WHY MUST WE FIGHT
DeleteCleaning the house is actually a brilliant suggestion. I find that if I'm accessible to the kids, they are all over me...but when I'm moving around the house cleaning...no one comes near me. They know I'll put them to work. ;)
ReplyDeleteIt's like hiding out in the open! Genius.
DeleteI pick the last one too :D Happy New Year, Andrea!
ReplyDeleteIt really is the best option of all. And Happy 2015 to you! xo
Delete