There
weren’t many photos of just her. The snapshots were on display on an easel at
the funeral home for family members and friends to look at and remember while
they mourned her passing from this life into the next. Most of the photos were of her standing next
to loved ones, holding a baby on her lap, arm around her husband of over seven
decades.
I
had pulled 79 photos of Grandma from the books and bins that we store at our
house, and taped them all to a huge posterboard. My cousins made additional posters from the photos they store at their houses, from the photos she still
kept at hers.
There
were way more than seventy-nine photos of her to mark her presence in
this world, in our lives.
Once
again our parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends gathered to
remember and cry on each others’ shoulders.
The tears we shed were over memories, the
knew-it-would-come-but-never-quite-ready realization that she was gone, during
a spring of sorrow that hit each of us at different times. We moved through the funeral home to greet
old friends and rarely seen family members, and whispered questions to each
other about who this person is and who that person was. I tried to keep my mind from dwelling on the
sweetest memories of my dear grandmother, that there would be no more new ones.
It’s
always hard being left.
Fifteen
months ago we cried from a loss, but also because she would be left; Granddad
died on Halloween and we all shared a portion of her grief, of continuing on without him. I numbered the photos I found to display on his
posterboard, just as I had for hers.
Most of the photos I pulled for her funeral already had a number
scrawled on the back.
Their
lives, intertwined. Their days, weeks,
years - numbered together.
We
gathered at their house and ate food that caring people prepared. We failed to keep teeny fingers out of candy
dishes and laughed at little faces covered in powdered sugar and donut
crumbs. We ate off of Styrofoam plates
in the living room and on the floor of their bedroom. My dad said that he thought the walls of the
little house would bow out from all the people stuffed inside.
We
opened dresser drawers and found more photos, and tucked a few into our pockets
to take home. We pulled photo albums out of end tables and and paged through them.
We laughed at old hairdos and fashion misses, named babies and
remembered past events.
When
dinner was over we sifted through piles of boots and shoes that littered the
kitchen floor, as they always had when we were there. We
found our vehicles in their driveway, closely and randomly parked. We picked our way out carefully through the
snow, and drove over the hill and through the field to get back to the funeral
home to greet more guests that would be coming to see her, to see us, to offer condolences
and support, to remember.
And
to see her face smiling through those more than seventy-nine photos.
*******
I am so sorry, friend.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Kari. I appreciate your thoughts. xoxo
DeleteI'm so sorry for the loss of your grandmother, Andrea. Grandmas are special and irreplaceable and we are all so lucky to have them while we do. Sending my love to you.
ReplyDeleteGrandmas are special. Thanks so much for the love, Shannon. xoxo
DeleteI love getting to know your Grandma like this, and getting this glimpse into your family. I'm so sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteThanks, friend. xoxo
DeleteWhat a lovely tribute to a special woman. The thought that popped into my mind was, "I love to look at peoples' photos at their funerals" which sounds really crass, but it's nice to get that idea of who they were over the course of their lives. Sorry for losing your Grandma and Grandpa- XO
ReplyDeleteI love to look at photos at funerals, too. It gives us an idea of their lives with the people they loved. Thanks for the kind words. xo
DeleteOh so sorry, Andrea, but what a beautiful and loving tribute. Sounds a lot like my grandparents life together and their passing(s). I know how tough this part is. Love and prayers to you and all of your family.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Lisa. I appreciate it. It is comforting to know that others share our feelings and experiences. xoxo
DeleteI am so sorry for your loss. It was heartwarming to see how many memories of her you have to carry with you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Tammy. There are so many memories. I am grateful for them.
DeleteI'm glad I read this today. I'm sorry that you're hurting. The idea of being left is such a hard one to deal with. xoxo
ReplyDeleteIt really is hard. Thanks for the warm thoughts. Love to you. xoxo
DeleteI am so sorry for your loss, Andrea. xoxo
ReplyDeleteThank you, friend. xo
DeleteI'm so sorry for you and your family.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Angela. I really appreciate it. xo
DeleteI can't even right now and you know why... This is so hard. I'm so sorry... xoxo
ReplyDeleteI know you do. It's so hard. I'm sorry too. xoxo
Delete