Wednesday, November 2, 2016

Abbrevs 4 U + Me

One of the most annoying things about the internet is the use of acronyms and abbreviations in comments, texts, and general interaction.

It’s only annoying to me because I don’t know what they all mean. Because I am not thirteen and my friends and I don’t speak in acronyms, omg.

I mean, what are we, medical experts? Military administrators? As a species we summarily agreed to use the typed word as the sole way we communicate which knocked speech out of the race altogether, quickly found out that nobody knows how to spell, and now we only want to communicate using TLAs and assume that everyone knows what we’re talking about.

Annoying.

I got used to u and 2 and 4 and even n to stand in as actual words in text messages, but soon omg and lol slid into our lexicon, as well as fun alternatives like oml, omw and omf, and lolz, lolol, and even lolololololol. Soon came smh and smdh and lmao, lmbo and rotfl, rotflmao, and rotflmfao to either disapprove of or appreciate the humor in various situations, the quizzical wtf and ikr, the sweet ily, and life-affirming yark (which bothers me for obvious reasons).  And don’t forget the super-popular af – middle schoolers haven’t, they all use it to emphasize nearly everything.

Okay, so I only see some of these on my kids’ Snapchats and in their text messages, so these might not be universal, but they probably are and I like knowing what’s up. Nothing is more embarrassing than having to Google language that kids are using.

Like “tl;dr” and “imho” – for the longest time I read those as they are written, like the names of real people. “Tilder, the situation is dire” and “Imho, frying sausage smells like a pig farm.” Tilder and Imho always seem to be present when people wish to speak about important or personal topics.

Then I realized that tl;dr and imho don’t add valuable information and now I disregard those acronyms categorically, like the real Tilder and Imho, who are probably a couple of loser party-poopers.

I thought it would be helpful to come up with some new abbreviations and acronyms to use in digital communications. Feel free to adopt as many as you want; I don't see this unfortunate trend going anywhere for a while, and the more they are used, the more we all know what we are all talking about. In addition, by adopting my short list here, you will love that you are on the cusp of the hottest smartphone slang, and your friends might start to tolerate your habits.


Acronym / Abbreviation

Meaning 

Use / Situation





ss

Something stinks

appropriate anytime, effective as a strong hint





pu911

Something really stinks, probably something died

to be used in concerning situations





ufrt

Did you fart

intimate use only





ifrt

I just farted

for public or emergency use





gowysc

Get out while you still can

general warning





igtv

I’m going to vomit

general warning





stnk

Someone needs deodorant

hint





dthbrth

Someone needs a mint

hint





fiurt

There’s food in your teeth

good citizen opportunity





tfn

Thanks for nothing

teachable moment





htdg4sale

Your zipper is down

good citizen





lmaj

Leave me alone jerk

getting to know you





luff/huff

Love your face forever/Hate your face forever

endearment/flirting





idly

I don’t like you

term of endearment or use in flirting





ibus

It’s because you stink

flirting





ictc

I’m calling the cops

flirting





goml

Get off my lawn

for use by people over 50





ruar

Are you a robot

getting to know you





iturar

I think you’re a robot

intimate use only





uso

Your secret’s out

good citizen





ursa

You’re so annoying

flirting





ilm1

I love me

informational





boomo

Better off on my own

informational





alids

At least I don’t stink

affirmation





sundom

Seriously you need deodorant or mints

intimate






Okay, maybe my acronyms are for more specific life situations. Still useful.

********


1Research has indicated that this is a common acronym (urbandictionary.com, 2016). Naturally.

10 comments:

  1. OMG LT U R SOOO FNY.
    I HRT U.
    That meant I heart you. Not I hurt you.
    DAMN ABBREVIATIONS.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. IKR? They don't play well with everyone.

      Delete
  2. LOLZ. I admit I LOL like crazy, but I still read texts and comments using u and r like a forst grader sounding out their first words. I just can't overlook those.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I LOL like crazy, too, and sometimes I LOLOLOL if I really thing something's hilar. The single letter use that drives me nuts is n for and. It's representing a three-letter word; people are really lazy.

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. TTYL reminds me of Tigger, who says TTFN. Ta-Ta for now! :)

      Delete
  4. OMG, YES! What the world needs now is not love, sweet love.
    It's more fart abbreviations.
    Natch.

    (I totally google acronyms I don't know. Shhh.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel like body odors deserve their own set of warnings in a universal language, like Morse code.

      Delete
  5. LOLOLOLOL!!! ROTF!!!! LUFF!! (ifrt)

    ReplyDelete