The biggest joke in the universe is that moms
don’t get days off.
Taking care of others is the sort of gig that allows
no time off, not even when you’re far away and there’s zero possibility of
finding that one pair of leggings or the extra container of hair goo that has
mysteriously disappeared.
You always care, are often contacted, and are
expected to take care of business even when you’re not there by setting things
in motion, guiding through the process, and cleaning up afterwards. There’s no
end in sight, even though the people around you are capable of doing the job
that you do – for them, usually – themselves.
I’m tired.
It’s well-established in my family that I don’t
really enjoy taking care of everyone’s junk. As much as I lament the aging of
my children and their looming departure, I am quite enjoying the fact that they
can feed and wash themselves, get their work done on their own, and even help
me with some of life’s heavy stuff.
Literally. Having teenagers – particularly a
teenage boy with brand-new muscles that he is anxious to use – is the best thing
ever when I need to move something big.
I’ve been doing this job long enough now that
nobody in my family even tries anymore to pretend that an off day for me is really
an off day. Even my husband, who understands my need to cocoon once in a while,
will stand in front of me and, after listening to me insist that I want nothing
else but to relax, will say with no mockery, sarcasm, or irony whatsoever, “So,
can you help me with…?”
There are no breaks.
Which makes me think – what would a day off
actually look like?
A day off isn’t really a day off unless the
next day can start anew with its own responsibilities and none of the day off’s
responsibilities waiting in the wings, all piled up. The point of a day off is
to relax and reorient ourselves to why we are here in the first place, to appreciate
and have a renewed vigor for our tasks at hand when we return to them.
A day off is really just a break for a little
while, a brief period during which responsibilities and family members wait (sometimes
not so) patiently until they can launch themselves at you so you can find the
leggings and the hair goo and extra printer paper and Q-tips I JUST BOUGHT A MEGA
BOX OF Q-TIPS AND THEY ARE UNDER YOUR BATHROOM SINK.
Sigh. A day off.
That’s hilarious.
*******
This post inspired by:
Prompt #1: You have a
day off, what do you do with your free time?
True this. Mine are 29(married) and 27 and out on their own! So I really actually do get days off - and I've learned to take them (after all those mothering years, believe me, it's a learned behavior!) One of my favorite cards of all times was from my daughter (about 14 at the time) when I hurt my back pretty badly. It was a get well card - and the tag line - which pleased my pc loving daughter to no end - was "the server's down" As awful as it was to be literally on my back for several weeks, it turned into a valuable reboot for our family...and many of the habits they formed during that time did NOT regress once I was up an around!
ReplyDeleteWhat a great story! "The server's down" - yes. :) I often feel like being sick or laid up is the only way I will actually get a day off, which is of course NOT my choice.
DeleteI take hours off instead of days off. I go to sleep for 1.5 hours and no one can talk to my closed eyelids. Very effective.
ReplyDeleteIt is very effective! If only the "things that need to be done" could handle themselves during that time, napping would be my go-to form of time off.
Delete"A day off isn’t really a day off unless the next day can start anew with its own responsibilities and none of the day off’s responsibilities waiting in the wings, all piled up". You said it!
ReplyDeleteThat's really the worst part of it, right?
DeleteNo rest for the wicked, huh? We never had kids, but if your kids are anything like we were when we were kids...
ReplyDeleteALL KIDS ARE THE SAME. Watching my kids avoid chores is like watching a film of myself when I was a kid.
DeleteSo true. A day off will never be what it used to be.
ReplyDeleteI don't even remember what it used to be. Once (before marriage and kids), I took a whole day off just to read a book. I really knew how to live then.
DeleteLast weekend I wanted to attend the Texas Book Festival. We usually go as a family, which means we stick to the kids' section, and I don't get to attend any author panels. And it's totally not Christian's thing. So this year he said, "Go by yourself! Do what you want to do there! We'll be fine!" And it was perfect because I got to attend 2 panels. It was rainy and since the kids' stuff is outside, they would have been miserable. But then I got THE TEXT: "Come home." Seriously?
ReplyDelete"THE TEXT" - LOLOL! And also: seriously?
DeleteI'm tired.