Thursday, October 13, 2011


Answering questions is not my favorite thing in the world to do.  Sometimes I’m not completely confident in having all the right answers when I think I should.  I also see the world in shades of gray, so I can be really quite inept at clarity in any form.  Any answer is sufficient, depending on the situation, and it's a matter of choosing the right one from a pool of many good ones.  I am averse to committing to one answer because in my experience things rarely stay the same.  Plus I often get negative reactions when I give an answer that isn't expected, and that stinks.

Or maybe it's because I inadvertently chose a mate who has a conversational style which lends itself to constant questioning, and because I spend a lot of time with children who are naturally question machines. Maybe questions bother me because in the course of any 24 hour period, I am asked roughly 18,349 questions.  They exhaust me, and yes - I have counted.

In one day, I might get asked the following: What do you have planned nine weeks from Friday? What are you thinking about for dinner?  Why do we have to have fish for dinner again?  Are we having salad?  Do I have to eat salad?  Do I have to eat the carrots in my salad?  Can you do me several favors?  Can you get me some water?  Can you pick me up?  Can I have a friend over?  Can I have five friends over?  Can my friends stay for dinner?  Where are you?  Where will you be when I go to sleep?  When are you going to bed?  Can we have a snack now?  Can we have dessert now?  What is the weather like outside?  Did you go to the gym today?  What did you do today?  What did the kids do today?  Do the kids want to go to the movies? Why did you choose this grocery store instead of that one?  Why are we going this way?  Do you want to go out to dinner?  Where do you want to go?  Did you get a babysitter?  Can we go roller skating?

Holy crap, I think I’m having heart palpitations.

In my family, I’m the sage.  I’m that bearded guy, on the top of the mountain, with his legs crossed and eyes closed, whose sole purpose in life is to answer questions.  Which would be great if that’s the only thing I have to do.  Obviously, answering questions is not the only thing I have to do, so I get a little yell-y when they start coming quickly. 

There are a couple of upsides to all of the questions.  One is that because I have so much practice at answering questions, I am really quite awesome at it, despite the occasional lack of confidence.  Ask me anything, and I will get you an answer.  Maybe it won’t help you, and maybe my answer is useful only for the purpose of amusing myself.  That’s the price that comes from asking me, the reluctant wise man.  In reflection, I do enjoy that my family thinks so much of my opinion that they are comfortable asking me any little thing that crosses their minds, and I am thankful that my kids and husband actually value my opinion.

And that my friends, is worth answering all those questions.


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