Monday, September 17, 2012

Dig it

I use the internet to learn about the world around me, and I love it more and more each day.

I wish I could say that I use it to learn about important things, like the state of the environment, or how I can reduce my carbon footprint, or even to learn what a carbon footprint is.  I might use it to better understand political nuances, to mine information about the upcoming presidential elections, or even to learn about important world events, like wars and economies and upheavals or even changing weather patterns and new technologies.  I might even use it to keep up with pop culture like TV shows or sports events so I could follow conversations that normal people have.

But of course I don’t use the internet for any of these things.  Not on a regular basis, anyway.

Most of information gathering I do via the internet is for looking up obscure words and slang phrases, keeping up-to-date on stories on events like beard and mustache competitions and ugly pet contests, catching up on news stories like when a woman sat on her toilet for so long that her butt grew around the seat, or just looking at pictures of animals in compromising positions or outfits, like this one:
Somthing tells me this guy hates the internet.
For obvious reasons.

Or this one:
There's just nothing about this picture I don't like.

I am a girl who likes her internet light, like carbonated cotton candy.

Which is real, by the way. 

And Wikipedia.  Even though it isn’t the most reliable reference, I could spend – and have spent – hours there.  What I Know Is is that I love Wikipedia.  I especially love when topics are badly represented.  A large part of my personal enjoyment thrives on human errors.  Once I spent several hours learning about Vanna White’s life.  I don’t remember how I got to her Wiki page.  I found myself mesmerized by it.  Her autobiography is surely a pageturner.  Of course now I don’t have to read it, having saved myself a little over nine dollars by using Wikipedia.  Incidentally, my Vanna White research trip had to be cut short when I found myself clicking a direct link to Wikipedia’s Wiki page because I felt my mind start to implode.

Don’t even mention Stumbleupon.  I had to stop.  So much time lost.

I'm not going to pretend that I have even scratched the surface of what is out there to discover on the internet.  I try to avoid Pinterest and Tumblr and Reddit because I would lose years just by opening those floodgates of nonsense.  Facebook is enough for me, what with the never-ending layers of photos to be seen of my friends' friends' friends' friends.  And maybe even their friends, too.  I only allow myself occasional doses of Youtube.

How do you lose yourself in the internet?

mad kitty photo credit
anderson fat cat photo credit


  1. Pinterest is definitely my vice...I get sucked in and on occasions, rescue crews have to be sent to retrieve me... But as long as I try one out of every 100 things I pin, I chalk it up to time well spent! ha!

    1. I like the idea of Pinterest, but it feels like clutter to me. And I can't handle clutter in any form. I have clear mental problems.

  2. That freakin Anderson Cooper picture is the best. I might print it out and sleep with it. I can definitely get sucked into pinterest but I can justify it with the occasional new recipe or handy-dandy household trick. My favorite is reading articles on Motherlode, it's a section of the online NYT. I love the articles and then all of the comments too! That and HuffPo could suck up hours of my day.

    1. You are getting a lifesize Anderson Cooper with Fat Cat poster for Christmas.

      Hmmmm. I may have to look at Motherlode again.

  3. I've seen that cat before...the fat one? I think I should probably make my Rotten Cats get on our treadmill so that doesn't happen to them. Because I am NOT carrying them around if they get that huge.

    Meanwhile, what I really want to know they? Squirrels? Vomit? Because that's important stuff to know. Eventually, my Kid is going to ask that and nine hundred other important-to-know things so I want to be prepared.

    1. The problem with the internet is that there are never any clear answers. When I researched this topic I found that there are two schools of thought: yes, squirrels do vomit, and no, they do not.

      I have since halted my research on this topic and deemed it a scientific mystery.

      Please, when you get your cats to walk on a treadmill, post it to the internet. And then please send me the link. It sounds like something that would be right up my alley.

    2. Tried today...the fat one refused and proceeded to take a nap ON the treadmill. If I get him to do it, I am definitely posting it.