We talked about friends.
How are your friends? I asked,
naming each one. Good, he said. There’s some drama.
I listened as my son told me stories of tween angst, which
sounded familiar, like my own memories of teen angst. Kids grow up so fast these days.
Girlfriends and boyfriends fight and make up. Messages get passed down the lane, and real
meanings are lost. Feelings, so fragile
at eleven and twelve years old, are easily hurt, I think.
Nurture your friendships, I tell him. He is in an open mood. What I am saying is being heard. I keep talking.
When I was young, I started, Oh, God, please don’t let this
turn into one of those “When I Was Your Age” stories. Let him hear it. Let him learn it. When I was young, I said, I had friends. Really good ones. We became friends in kindergarten. We went through a lot together, and we were
inseparable.
Then I switched schools.
I made new friends. We all
graduated, and some of us moved away.
Those early friendships were lost.
We have Facebook now, but we missed a lot of time together. They continued to be close, and I wasn’t
close anymore.
I had other close friendships in high school and college,
but so many were lost. I did not nurture them.
I did not call or write or make arrangements to visit when I came home
for breaks. We let disagreements go without
repairing them. I miss those friendships
too.
Don’t let disagreements and mean words kill your
friendships, I said. Don’t let too much
time pass without talking to your buddies.
Let your friends know you’re thinking about them. Smooth over differences. Let your friends be themselves, and love
them. Take care of your friendships,
because when you’re my age, you will want people in your life who share your
history. This is the only time in your
life that you can begin a lifelong friendship.
Jeez mom, he said, after I stopped talking. You’re making me cry.
I wiped my eyes. Me too.
*******
*sniff* I'm so happy to know you, from way back! Here's to the way forward.
ReplyDeleteThank you, yes! It's a gift to have people who knew you when, but who also look forward to what may come. :)
DeleteBeautiful. And so true.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
Delete