Monday, February 25, 2013

Why I love Oscar Sunday more than Super Bowl Sunday. Other than the fact that I hate football.

Yesterday was Oscar Sunday.  Oscar Sunday is like Super Bowl Sunday around here, except we never have an Oscar party and we always have a Super Bowl party, because I am selfishly in charge of the Oscars at my house and I don’t want to miss a moment ensuring other people are having a good time.  We have a Super Bowl party because my husband likes to watch football in a crowd and he knows that I will ensure that everyone has a good time because I don’t watch the Super Bowl because it is a proven fact that watching football is the worst form of torture ever.

Sigh.  When will America come around?

Oscar Sunday is wonderful because I do nothing strenuous to prepare except clear the day of any and all activities.  Laundry, cooking, bathing: all these extraneous and annoying chores are done quickly and early on so as not to take away from all the schmoozing on the red carpet, unintelligible acceptance speeches, and fashion choices gone awry that the Oscars reliably bring me each year.  When the last task is complete, red sweatpants and I kick it comfortably on the couch starting at 5 o’clock, remote control and a box of wine nearby.

My family knows to either stay away, tiptoe around me, or just join in and let the ridiculous extravagance lull them into a stupefied state.

Except none of that happened this year.  This year, my husband was unavailable for offspring duty, and my daughter had a birthday party to go to on Oscar Sunday.   So, even though I might be on the Top Twelve Most Selfish Mothers Of All Time list according to how many mothers volunteer for the PTO in our local elementary schools, I DVR’d all the Oscar Sunday coverage I would miss, which after shopping for a gift, getting the kids ready to go, going to the birthday party, and then coming home and getting the kids ready for bed and What? Why do you have homework to do at 8:45 on a Sunday night? totaled to about 4 hours of prime red carpet coverage, and about an hour of the show itself.  

(I ended up taping about 7 hours of Oscars which I have yet to watch because I ended up starting at the red carpet coverage and I fell asleep, waking up to skip to the live show, where I saw Ang Lee win Best Director for my beloved Life of Pi, and Jennifer Lawrence fall going up on stage to receive her award, which is what I would totally do if I won an Oscar except my dress would probably also find a way to flip up over my head.)

Not once in my adult life can I remember missing the Oscars.  Magically, Oscar Sunday has historically not been a day crammed with activities, and I haven’t ever had to drop something major to watch the event on TV.  In contrast, I think a lot of serious soul-searching would take place before any of us would plan something other than Super Bowl-related activities on Super Bowl Sunday.

That includes me, and you know how I feel about football.

But this year we had something to do on Oscar Sunday, and we did it.  I was not about to allow a silly awards show consisting of a bunch of strangers voting each other as most popular, the winners taking the spotlight to tell us how amazing their lives and jobs and coworkers are, to interfere with my daughter celebrating her friend’s birthday.  The Oscars, like the Super Bowl, have nothing to do with me.  But my life has everything to do with me, and unlike the Super Bowl for so many, I can drop it to do life.

Oscar Sunday is major, and it is fun, but it is not real life.  That is why I love Oscar Sunday: because it knows where it stands. 

That, and because I can digitally save 7 hours of Oscar coverage to watch later.


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