How I Write

When my friend Angela of Jumping With My Fingers Crossed tagged me to be a part of a blog tour she was participating in, and said that all I had to do was write a blog post about my writing process, I was all, “Yeah, man!  There’s nothing I like better than talking about how I do things!  I have so much to offer the world I am the QUEEN of the writing process WHEEEEEEEEE!!!!

Then I cruised on over to her post about her writing process, and also checked out this one, and that one, and this one, and that one, and this one, to see how other bloggers – ahem, writers – do their thing.

I was a little intimidated.

I mean, these guys are for real, people.  Many bloggers who I know and read are real writers who write for newspapers and magazines and have written books or are working on books and write for websites and own websites and have English degrees and get paid and EVERYTHING.  I’m a person who sits at her laptop and hammers out sentences and paragraphs that serve mainly to expose that I’m a weirdo.

Then I remembered that just a few weeks ago I went to a writing conference where Phil Donahue himself told me personally that You Can Write, that this is my purpose, that I have a responsibility to share my experiences, feelings, and ideas. And by personally I mean that I was sitting in the back of a hotel ballroom while he was speaking to me and 300 other people.

And then I considered again these other writers who I read, and I saw myself as a part of their group, and I climbed up out of my shame hole.  And they inspired me, as only writers can do for each other.  I can write.  And I have a writing process.  And ho-ho-ho, I’m gonna share it with you.

1. What am I working on?

Always, always blog posts.  I write two blogs – this one and a faith one called Stumbling Everyday.  I try posting in each regularly, but I’m not always successful.  I work on several blog posts at a time, which means that at any given point there are a few unfinished ones hanging around, and when they’re finished I’ll clean them up and hit the old publish button.  Or maybe I won’t publish them at all, which happened recently - I wrote two posts that I decided not to publish for different reasons.  Maybe someday you’ll read them.

Look!  It's a picture of THIS BLOG POST in draft form.  I'm blowing your mind right now.

I also write the occasional guest post, appear in articles for writer friends, or less frequently, do sponsored posts.  I love to be published on other websites but mainly that has happened with posts that I’ve already published on my blog.  I’d love to say that I write a lot that will bypass the blog to go directly to editors, since it is a huge thrill for me to send something out there to be read and judged and deemed worthy for publication, but for now I got nothing.  Life is really, really busy this time of year, and this year especially, so unfortunately I’m not devoting as much time to writing as I wish I could right now.  Aaaaand I have a terrible Facebook habit.  There I said it.

2. How does my writing differ from others in its genre?

I believe that even if all writers write about the same topic, we will each have something different to say.  My writing differs from others in its genre because it’s MY voice.  Nobody else writes like I do because I’m the only me out here.  

I am honest.  I write like I think.  I am not afraid to tell you that I messed up.  It’s sort of what I strive to talk about.  If I did something stupid, and I'm aware of it (oh, boy, that's the whole key, isn't it?), you can be sure that you'll read about it here.

Sometimes I write humor, and sometimes my writing is heartfelt, and I won’t lie – I worry about not having a specific genre.  I am working on combining the two a little bit better, because I have really serious thoughts that morph into humorous ones pretty quickly, and there’s a way to write like this that I just haven’t mastered.  On days that I think I succeed at this, the angels sing, and the days that I don’t, I just hit the publish button and get another cup of coffee.

3. Why do I write what I do?

I want people to read what I write and say “Huh.  She is really awkward.  Sometimes I feel like this.  I can totally relate.”  I want to encourage people to not be afraid to be themselves.  If my little blog can encourage even one person to be brave enough to say “You know what?  I screwed up, and I feel like an idiot, and I will do better next time,” than I am over the moon happy. 

I feel like our society puts too much emphasis on showing only the best parts of who we are, and people really suffer because they feel they can never measure up.  I want to come alongside them and say, “So you messed up.  Everybody does.  It’s not the end of the world.  Now get out there and do better.”  And then I’ll slap them on the fanny and watch them run off to tackle the world and maybe even trip over their own feet in the process and I’ll laugh at them and with them because when people trip over their own feet it’s totally hilarious for everyone involved.  

GIF credit

4. How does my writing process work?

So I get up at five o’clock in the morning. 

I know: Crazytown.  But I am a super duper morning person.  I read a little, and write in a journal, and then I open my drafts document and I write.  Some days, I already have an idea all ready to go and I just write it out.  Other days I sit in front of my computer and peck away and give up and go read some more.  Then the kids are up and I help them get ready to go and I take a walk and I come back and write.

When I have a new idea but I don’t have the time to expand on it, I quick type up a sentence or two and a title – always a title – and the date to get it down in draft form before my mind eats the idea.  When I publish something, I transfer it to a “finished” document to avoid republishing something.   

Throughout the day I write here and there, and other than chores and errands and appointments I am at the computer.  I keep pads of paper and post-its everywhere that I use to jot down ideas – in the car, in desks, in my purse.  I combine all these pieces of paper in a little notebook I keep on my desk and when I get stuck I refer to them. 

Where the magic happens.  It's so magical that I don't even need a computer.

I don't always use these paper scraps ideas.  Sometimes I don’t remember where I was going with an idea.  Once I wrote an idea for a blog post on my checkbook ledger and it contained the following little gem: “Jam out with your clam out.  Milk, milk, lemonade.  Around the corner, fudge is made.”  That was fun to read every time I opened my checkbook to log a debit.

My biggest struggle with writing is avoiding time-absorbing social media.  I also struggle with writing before doing everything else.  When I publish something I feel like I am released to do other things, but until then I feel a constant pull or redirection toward getting something written.  I think this constant pull is why writers sometimes feel a little crazy.  We operate in our own heads so much and there’s never an end to the task.  I try to tell myself that if I write a little everyday I’ve done well. Sometimes I believe it.

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Part of this blog tour is to tag other writers to share their writing process.  I am fortunate to have many friends who also write, so it wasn’t hard for me to come up with a couple of people to do one of these posts and continue the blog tour!  Look for their posts soon.

First is Kim of Co-Pilot Mom, a blog about life with her husband, Co-Pilot Dad, and their adorable boys, Alpha and Bravo (not their real names, silly!).  I adore Kim’s writing - her style is warm, funny, and heartfelt.  She weaves stories with details that make me smile, and reflects about life as a mom and wife in a way that I relate to so much.  Kim has a knack for using words and images that I instantly connect with   I love pouring a cup of coffee and reading Kim's blog.

Second is Erin from One-Sided Momma.  Erin kicks me in the teeth with everything she writes. And that is a good thing.  Also a mom of two, Erin tells stories about her life with such rawness of emotion and honesty that I often find myself laughing and yet coming away from her blog in tears.  Also gifted with the use of imagery that I can fully relate to, she dares you to stand next to her and see things from her very eloquent perspective.  

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