Thirteen Things I Love About Vacation

So summer is almost here, and school’s almost out. 

School’s almost out.  Can we say a prayer?  Dear Lord, please let me survive the last month of school.  The sheer volume of things going on is making my head spin.  I feel crazy.

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When I’m feeling crazy, I like to think about vacation.  Being away, doing fun stuff, being away, being away, being away.  When you’re a stay-at-home mom, being away becomes the stuff of dreams, the goal of life.  Being at home, especially during the school year, can be stifling.  Homework to check, uniforms to wash, tests to sign, meetings and activities to run to.  Plus all the normal stuff, blah blah blah toilet cleaning blah blah blah.  It never ends.  Are the walls closing in?

Let’s talk about what’s awesome about vacation, shall we?

1. You’re not at home.  My house is a vortex.  It sucks me in.  Leaving can be a struggle – there’s always a coffee cup to put in the sink, a window to close, a jug of milk to put back in the fridge.  On vacation, I don’t even realize that all the lights were left on when I leave for the spa.  My bed is made for me.  I am encouraged to leave my towels on the floor.  And every hotel door locks by itself.

2. Simple choices.  On vacation, the complexities of everyday life are left at home.  Juggling appointments and figuring out tax brackets become “do I have pie or chocolate lava cake for dessert?”

3. You do things you’ve never done before.  Sometimes on vacation you get to do new things.  On vacation you become fearless.  On any given day you are an explorer, discovering new lands and encountering new people.  You might do something scary. Or maybe you’ll just sit around.  Either way, you’re doing something different than the norm, and that makes you awesome and brave.  Maybe you’re not so brave if you’re just sitting around.  Or awesome.  But it feels amazing, doesn’t it?

4. You become rich.  When we’re away, money suddenly is no object.  Twenty-four dollars for a hamburger?  NO PROBLEM.  Yes, we’ll take the souvenir cup – here’s ten bucks.  Who cares that it comes in a container so large that we can’t possibly store it in our kitchen cabinets, and is so awkward that no one will use it, and I’ll throw it in the trash a week after we get home?

5. Caloric intake limits do not exist.  I usually do a little half-hearted dieting attempt before a vacation to appear svelte when I get there.  But that is quickly undone as I become a human food vacuum upon arrival.  Have you ever been on a cruise?  You can eat as much as you want, any time you want.  Okay, the last time I was on a cruise was thirteen years ago, so the rules may have changed since then.  But then I was five months pregnant, and one night I ate two dinners and all the desserts, and that was probably the best night of my entire life.

6. No chores.  If you rent a house on vacation, you may have to do laundry once or twice, or go to the grocery store.  Even so, chores are a novelty, not a necessity.  If you’re lucky enough to stay in a hotel, there are no chores at all.  Wipe up the sink after your brush your teeth?  Big deal.  An infinite chore loop does not exist on vacation.

7. Everything is more fun. We go on a beach vacation every summer.  We play mini golf, go on boat rides, swim and lie in the sun.  These things are available to do at home.  They become other-worldly events when we think about doing them on vacation, and we count down the days until we get there to do them.

8. No schedules to keep.  At home (waking up): OMG I SLEPT IN FIFTEEN MINUTES THIS DAY SUCKS.  On vacation (waking up): Wow, I slept in.  I should call room service and have them bring me breakfast.  And lunch.

9. No need to keep up appearances.  When I’m on vacation, makeup doesn’t exist, and my hair’s a mess.  And I wear the same clothes for a week.  There is no pressure to look put together, which for me is a huge ordeal usually.

10. Rejuvenation, renewal, refreshment.  Everyone says that certain kinds of vacations are more work than being at home.  I’ve been on trips like this.  But the break from the crushing tedium of regular life is always welcome.  And darn it if I don’t feel like a million bucks when I get home, ready to take on the world.  Or at least not want to stick my head in the oven.

11. You can be anyone you want on vacation.  Because no one knows you on vacation, there’s no one to say Hey! You’re not an astronaut – you work at Old Navy!  Or – You went to a state school, not Oxford!  Or – you don’t have a British accent!  On vacation, you can be anything.  A club-goer.  A bikini-wearer.  A smoker and a drunk.  Or my favorite: a dirty hippie who wears the same clothes for a week.  The possibilities are endless.

12. You have something to talk about when you get home.  Face it.  Your life is so tedious and boring that everything you talk about is a snoozefest.  Vacations fill in the gaps of your poor conversational skills and make you infinitely more interesting than you really are.  Vacations allow us to bond with others as we discuss our favorite ride at Disney World (Space Mountain), the view from the top of the Eiffel Tower (breathtaking, but not when it’s foggy), and how scary it is to snorkel over a manta ray (SO SCARY).

13.  The memories.  Oh, the memories.

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This post inspired by:

Mama Kat's Writing Workshop

Prompt #2: List 13 things you love about vacation.