Summer
is kicking me around the block, friends.
Every moment from now until the kids go back to school has been planned
away, and during the school year every moment is logged and accounted for, and
I fall into a spiral of despair about time whizzing by as speedily as I did in
my car past the police officer that one time I got a ticket and it was all my
husband’s fault because I was following him on an unfamiliar road and then
after the ticket my husband STILL didn’t slow down enough for me to follow him
and I took a wrong turn and got lost and things were ugly at home that night.
Wait. Where was I?
Because
things are moving rapidly around here, I feel like I’m playing a one-woman game
of catch-up against the world, and I’m losing miserably. It’s survival mode on steroids around here,
folks. About the only saving grace is
that my kids are old enough to mow the lawn and feed themselves.
They
feed themselves cookies and soda, but still.
I
haven’t written anything. I haven’t done
anything blog-worthy, either. And it is
soul-crushing, because ennhhhhh… I MUST WRITE.
And I can’t figure out how to get back on the horse.
Which
usually means that I’m about to get back on the horse, thanks to the following
advice to writers that I hear pretty often:
Write
every day. Write when you have ten
minutes, write when you don’t have anything to say, write even if it’s
crap. Writing is my preferred mode of
expression, and – by the way, thank goodness ‘writer’ is one of those nebulous,
broad designations – I took this advice to heart.
It’s
amazing how great advice sounds before you have to do anything about it.
So
I sit in my chair, fingers poised on the edge of greatness, the precipice of
understanding, the foothills of the great mountains of truth. I wait for pearls of wisdom to drop onto the
page, er, the screen.
I
got nothing. And oh hey, the laundry
needs to be folded again.
Typical.
Writing
is a muscle that you have to exercise, I hear.
Exercise – that terrible word that conjures up pain and time spent
sweating and pushing yourself to exhaustion only to undo a fraction of the
damage a body has sustained as a result of poor lifestyle habits. I hate the thought of it, enter into it only
grudgingly. Since I quit the gym most of
my muscles are slowly atrophying into masses of substance that I’d rather not
even think about. I could be in better
shape, I guess. I’ve thrown my back out
while doing not-so-strenuous tasks like reaching across a car seat and climbing
into bed. My core strength might not be
all that it could be.
Why
must something that is so good for us be so difficult?
Is
writing good for me? Spending time alone
sitting threatens at a lifetime of sciatic pain and relationship breakdown. Exposing my thoughts and dreams and desires
that might not previously have seen the light of day is scary. Ignored household tasks and piles of mail and
being late to appointments and SOON - school pick-up - and all the things that
eat up the hours, days, weeks of my life degenerates into chaos.
But
for ten minutes a day?
How
hard could it be?
Even
if this is all I have to offer?
*******
My well is dry these days. I keep telling myself that I will find a routine when the kids are back in school. I was going to shoot for an hour a day, but maybe ten minutes is more realistic.
ReplyDeleteWe should start a support group.
I would love a support group. One that also takes turns cleaning each other's houses.
DeleteSummer and writing just do not go well together. Looking back, I notice tons of things I COULD have written about, had I the time of the inclination.
ReplyDeleteIt grieves me, not having the time. The lack of inclination I can handle. That usually comes with a "oh, who cares" addendum.
DeleteI don't know...sometimes I think we put too much pressure on ourselves to write - must exercise, ten minutes, failure if I don't feel like it, and all the rest. All writers have dry spells. And artists, and songwriters, and sculptors...and still they manage.
ReplyDeleteI can tell you this, though - when my students have said "I can't write - I don't know what to write - it's too hard to write - etc., etc.," I tell them just do it even if you have to write about how you don't have anything to write about it and see what happens. It works. And so, it seems, that's kind of what you did here, right? :)
Yes - exactly! I don't always know what to write, and it always helps to sort of put that out there. It always gets things moving in the right direction. I think I need to calm down about it.
DeleteI've never written every day. I just can't.
ReplyDeleteSome of my favorite pieces though, were written in 10 minutes.
Go with the flow, enjoy life as it is now. You'll get back on the horse when the time is right. xo
I think when you write when you're inspired, when the writing is more heartfelt and comes more easily, we like what we have to say. It's when I'm forcing it that I think "Now what was I thinking when I wrote that?" I have to learn to just let the days that I don't write go by without worrying about it.
Delete10 minutes? MY KINGDOM for 10 (uninterrupted and creative minutes!!)
ReplyDeleteYou're so right, it should be so easy (exercise too..I mean 30 lousy minutes...but wait is that Law & Order on..a marathon..oh maybe I'll just sit down for a minut...zzzz)
When I pressure myself to do it, it's always crap. But the 10 minutes thing, I'm trying to get there...right after Law & Order.
Love you and your words.
I try, I try. But, "I feel like I’m playing a one-woman game of catch-up against the world, and I’m losing miserably. It’s survival mode on steroids around here, folks." YOu took the words right out of my mind:)!
ReplyDeleteYou're not alone in this. It seems to be going around, and I blame end of summer vacations and strangely early school years for it. I say strangely early because where I come from, school doesn't start until after Labor Day!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, I once had a three year+ dry spell so I'm not one to talk. It scares me that it will happen again.
I tried so hard to write a blog post a day throughout July (not posting all of them - just building up a reserve), and I was incredibly hard on myself when I only managed 26. This is supposed to be fun, and it is most of the time... the times when I'm not under pressure.
ReplyDeleteEventually you'll get your writing groove back, once you are reminded of why you started your blog to begin with or when you are inspired by something completely different.
20150523wengdongdong
ReplyDeletechristian louboutin outlet
michael kors outlet
rolex watches outlet
coach factory outlet online
true religion
coach factory outlet
burberry outlet online
coach outlet
ray ban sunglasses
abercrombie kids
hollister clothing
louis vuitton outlet
michael kors
cheap jordans
celine outlet
gucci
burberry sale
louis vuitton purses
ray ban sunglasses uk
ray ban sunglasses
celine
timberland boots
louis vuitton outlet
burberry outlet
oakley sunglasses
cheap louis vuitton handbags
ralph lauren sale
abercrombie and fitch
louis vuitton outlet
polo ralph lauren
ray bans
kate spade outlet
christian louboutin sale
michael kors handbags
2015831dongdong
ReplyDeleteprada shoes
nike huarache shoes
christian louboutin outlet
lebron james basketball shoes
michael kors outlet
swarovski jewelry
hollister clothing
air jordan 13
nike air max
coach factory outlet
hollister clothing
louboutin pas cher
louis vuitton handbags
ugg boots
nike trainers uk
sac longchamp
hermes birkin bag
caoch outlet
coach outlet stores
vans shoes
polo ralph lauren
michael kors outlet
nike trainers
cheap vans shoes
michael kors uk
jordan concords
coach factory outlet online
louis vuitton handbags
michael kors handbags
ralph lauren uk
christian louboutin outlet
christian louboutin
jordan 6
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet
michael kors outlet
prada outlet
louis vuitton
hollister co
fans cheap barbour jackets north face jackets nike michael kors as hermes birkin beats by dr dre michael kors canada michael kors outlet online as michael kors outlet polo ralph lauren omega converse Mr. ray ban sunglasses giuseppe zanotti abercrombie.com nike running Jones. ferragamo shoes michael kors glasses online tommy hilfiger canada Paul nike roshe christian louboutin adidas oakley sunglasses cheap worked uggs outlet michael kors uggs outlet omega watches full burberry new balance timberland outlet north face outlet time adidas superstar michael kors outlet online michael kors bags abercrombie with hermes birkin nike free replica watches true religion outlet many polo ralph lauren outlet tory burch sandals bebe dresses michael kors international horloges nike factory store burberry polo ralph bands rolex watches for sale oakley sunglasses cheap
ReplyDelete