Interview With The Children - The Younger One

Recently, I found this old meme floating around on Facebook:

Without any prompting, ask your child these questions and write down exactly what they say. It is a great way to find out what they really think. 

When the kids were in preschool I got a list of these “Questions about Mom” each year.  Their answers were precious in their inaccuracy.  And I think I interviewed my kids in the early days of Facebook.  These days I'll take any excuse to talk to my children, so I grabbed the questions and caught my kids on a couple of lazy afternoons to see if they know me any better now that they’re older and wiser.

Here is the interview with my twelve year old daughter:

1. What is something mom always says to you? 

“Hmm.  Probably ‘Clean up.’”  :: a few moments later::  “Probably ‘I love you.’”

Yeah, that’s right.  ’Atta girl.

* * *

2. What makes mom happy? 

“When we clean the whole house without her, and we actually do a good job.”

Accurate.

* * *

3. What makes mom sad? 

“When we don’t listen and when we argue.”

Sad and crazy, you mean.

* * *

4. How does your mom make you laugh? 

“With her faces and her um, like her word plays, like with what you say, sometimes.” 

Note: This child can stretch a five minute conversation into forty minutes or more.

* * *

5. What was your mom like as a child? 

“I remember you talking about how you liked creating hair and clothing for your Barbies, so probably fashionable.  I liked how your hair was in the 80s – your curly hair.  Yeah.  Fashionable.”

What I looked like in the 80s:

* * *

6. How old is your mom? 

“Forty-two.” 

She answered that so naturally, so swiftly.  No thinking needed. 

Sigh.

* * *

7. How tall is your mom? 

“Probably 6’2”.  Am I right?  In the 6’s?” 

I love that children always think their parents are larger than life.

* * *

8. What is her favorite thing to do?

“Blogging, and maybe probably reading.”

Maybe probably reading.  Maybe we probably need a book on proper speech up in here.

* * *

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? 

“How am I supposed to know?  Probably cleaning!  I don’t know!  Cleaning and blogging?  Going to the gym?”

“I quit the gym over a year ago.”

“Oh!  You did?”

. . .

* * *

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? 

“Probably for her writing.”

This is my favorite daughter.

* * *

11. What is your mom really good at? 

“Cooking and writing.”

The flattery is getting obscene, now.  These children are skeptics of every single thing that comes out of the kitchen.

* * *

12. What is your mom not very good at? 

“Math.” ::giggles::  “Just kidding.”

I raise my eyebrow.  We don't allow people to be bad at math here.

“She is bad at… ::whispers “Thinking, thinking…”:: You’re not really bad at anything.  Probably you’re bad at something but I can’t think what.”

She will receive all of the good jewelry.

* * *

13. What does your mom do for a job? 

“Takes care of us.  And cooks and writes.”

Again with the cooking.

* * *

14. What is your mom's favorite food? 

“Oh!  Now I remember doing this before!  Remember back when you did your host thing, like when you did Jamberry, and you asked your guests questions about you?  I remember your favorite food was pizza.  So I’m going to say pizza.”

I do love pizza.  Clearly I also love to ask people questions about what they know about me.

* * *

15. What makes you proud of your mom? 

“That you never give up on me when I’m sad, and that you shaped us into good people. And that you like, are good.  You don’t mess around; you take care of the house and the family.”

This answer pretty much made me feel like Wonder Woman.  At the very least Supergirl.

* * *

16. If your mom were a character, who would she be? 

“I’m thinking of three people:  the first one is from Looney Toons, and I forget her name, but it’s Daffy Duck’s girlfriend.  She is also a duck, and she’s okay with weirdness, but she’s still on her job.  Her point is to not fall apart.  You don’t fall apart, but you can sustain silliness.  Tina Fey, because I know you like her, and because she’s funny, like a jokester, but she’s successful in her life.  I know you’re funny in your blog and that you’re very successful in your blog.  And then we have Ellen, because she is also very funny, but she can also be serious to get her point across.  I think you are silly but you also want to get your work done and you don’t want your life to crumble.”  

A cartoon duck and two of my favorite funny women.  Two out of three is pretty great.

“And Ellen because of her fashion sense, right?” 

“Um, yeah.  Sure.   Well, you do have the same hair that she does.”

You know, she's right.  Me and Ellen?  EXACT same hairstyle.

* * *

17. What do you and your mom do together? 

“Ooo, we go shopping together, go out to eat, we go to the dentist together, the orthodontist ::we both bust out laughing::, and we also get our nails done together sometimes.”

Lies.  We never get our nails done.  I hate getting my nails done.

“Well, our toes, usually.  Sometimes.”

* * *

18. How are you and your mom the same? 

“Well, when I look back at your old pictures, I see that you look the same as me when you were three and when I was three.  You danced like I do, and we are both hardworking in school.  Both of us liked playing Barbies.  I think I get my creativity from you.  We’re both silly.”

* * *

19. How are you and your mom different? 

“I don’t like doing work that much.  When you know you have to work, you get right on it so you don’t have to do it later.  I wait on work.  Like taking showers and stuff.  You get right on that.  You’re probably more hard working out of school than me.”

She’s right.  I do get right in the shower even though it's hard work.

* * *

20. How do you know your mom loves you? 

“You tell me so.  If you didn’t love me, then I don’t even think I’d be living here.  You gave me a house, food, even when I argue with you.  And you do all this stuff for me.  And you taught me how to do laundry, and you taught me how to be a good person.”

Teaching laundry skills is at the top of the list of ways to show love.

* * *

21. What does your mom like most about your dad? 

“Hmmm. Maybe you like him because he’s the same height as you…”

False.  A person's height has no bearing on how I feel about them.  If this were true, it would mean that I prefer tall people.  In fact, I think most tall people are total jerks.  Ha ha, not I don't.  Only some of you.

“…You just love him because he’s nice and because he does a lot of stuff for you.  He’s a nice person, and you know that.  You know he wants to do nice stuff for you and he also works hard for the money.”

Ladies and gentlemen, may I introduce my daughter, Donna Summer.

* * *

22. Where is your mom's favorite place to go? 

“It’s probably that perfume store we went to, because you started liking perfume a lot.”

We went there once, and it’s for research purposes, but okay.  You can read about my shenanigans here, here, and here.

“You like nice, soothing, calming restaurants.  I can’t think of a name, but you like restaurants that are calm and that have good food and not junky food like Pizza Hut.  Sorry, Pizza Hut.”

Not sorry, Pizza Hut.

* * *

23. How old was your Mom when you were born? 

“Thirty, right?  In your thirties?  In your twenties?  Twenty-four?  Thirty-eight?  It has to be 38, right?  No, no!  It was 28."

School’s been out for a week and already her math skills are at zero percent.

* * *  

Anything else?

“You are a good cook even though sometimes I don’t like what you cook.  It’s usually good for me even though I don’t like it.”

It all comes down to food.  Naturally. 

*******