Interview with the Children – The Older One

Recently, I found this old meme floating around on Facebook:

Without any prompting, ask your child these questions and write down exactly what they say. It is a great way to find out what they really think. 

When the kids were in preschool I got a list of these “Questions about Mom” each year.  Their answers were precious in their inaccuracy.  And I think I interviewed my kids in the early days of Facebook.  These days I'll take any excuse to talk to my children, so I grabbed the questions and caught my kids on a couple of lazy afternoons to see if they know me any better now that they’re older and wiser.

I posted my interview with my twelve year old here.  The following is the interview with my fourteen year old son, who I cornered in his bedroom:

1. What is something mom always says to you? 

“Take small bites.”

It’s true.  It’s like he’s going for the gold medal in cheek-stuffing at every meal.  Squirrels and chipmunks have nothing on this kid.  I pray for latent emergence of table manners every single day.

* * *

2. What makes mom happy?

“Um, when, um, ::cough cough:: when… when (at this point I’m getting suspicious – am I really that hard to please?)… when we follow your instructions, I guess.  When we do chores without you asking us to.”

True.  I like having people around who know what I like and arrange things that way.  It’s such a good way to live, really.

* * *

3. What makes mom sad? 

“When we disobey.”

Also true.  Although my reaction to disobeying children may look more like rage to the rest of the world, in our house it’s called “Mom is sad.”

* * *

4. How does your mom make you laugh? 

“She doesn’t.”  ::laughs nervously::  “I don’t know.  When you do funny things.”

I will accept this answer.

* * *

5. What was your mom like as a child?  

“I don’t know!”

He's tired of talking about me already.  Thus begins the rapid-fire part of our program.

* * *

6. How old is your mom? 

“42”

* * *

7. How tall is your mom?

“Five-eleven”

* * *

8. What is her favorite thing to do? 

“Read blogs”

* * *

9. What does your mom do when you're not around? 

“Read blogs”

* * *

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for? 

“Blogging”

* * *

11. What is your mom really good at? 

“Blogging”

* * *

12. What is your mom not very good at? 

“Singing.”

Ahem.  

I’ll let him slide for now.  I’m too old for American Idol, anyway.  But I will have the rest of you know that I have quite a good voice.  In the car.  And in my mind.

* * *

13. What does your mom do for a job? 

“Blogging”

Not so fast, mister.  Canned answers will get you nowhere in this world.  It was here that I ignored the “no prompting” rule and started prompting for more info about me.  This is turning out to be a pretty boring interview.  Who knew 14-year-olds were so surly?  Harrison Ford’s got nothing on this kid.

* * *

14. What is your mom's favorite food? 

“Uhhhhmmmm, how about fish and salad.”

Touché, pussy cat.  Not really my fave, but also his most hated meal.  He practically transforms into a bottomless pit of despair when I serve this at dinnertime.

* * *

15. What makes you proud of your mom? 

“I don’t know.  Taking care of us.”

Serving fish and salad, you mean.

* * *

16. If your mom were a character, who would she be? 

“A character from what?” 

I don’t care. 

“Maybe like Daisy Duck.  I don’t know.  It’s the only girl character I can think of right now.  From like, Looney Toons or whatever.”

If you’re keeping score, I’m 2 for 2 on reminding my kids of a cartoon duck.  Either my kids are really into ducks or I am a duck.  Whatever.  Daisy Duck is awesome.

* * *

17. What do you and your mom do together?  

“Um, probably go shopping.”

I guess that’s accurate.  He keeps growing, and we keep shopping.

* * *

18. How are you and your mom the same? 

“We are tall and we have freckles, and we have the same kind of personality, I guess.”

Poor kid.  About the personality part.  Being tall and having freckles obviously rocks.

* * *

19.  How are you and your mom different? 

“I don’t know.”

Prompting again:  How?

“Well, we don’t like the same things.  You like to go shopping; I don’t like to go shopping.  You like to cook; I don’t like to cook.”

But you said we go shopping together.

“I know but that doesn’t mean that I like it!”

Yeah.  Me either.  Let’s never go shopping again.

* * *

20.  How do you know your mom loves you? 

“By taking care of me…” 

Anything else? 

::few moments later, in a small voice::

“…and saying she loves me.”

* * *

21.  What does your mom like most about your dad? 

“Um, I don’t know.  I’m not you!  I don’t really… maybe… maybe when he helps around the house.”

That’s it?

“Yeah.”

He’s right.  I do love a man who helps around the house.

* * *

22.  Where is your mom's favorite place to go? 

“Favorite place to go?  Mmmmhmmmmm....  probably to the outlets?”

Again with the shopping.  If they would quit growing, imagine the time – and money – I’d save.

* * *

23.  How old was your Mom when you were born?

::does math in head::

“Twenty-seven or 28.  Is that right?”

Yeah. I was 27.  A lifetime ago.  I look at this person who is as big as I am now.  My mind can’t contain this fact.  It vanishes as soon as it appears.

* * *

Anything else?  Anything else you know about me that you’d like to share?

“NO.”  ::rolls over, pulls covers over head::

He is SO my child.

*******